My last blog was about “a better year” written one year after the fall that changed last year for me in many ways. The next morning I received a telephone call from Roel, my brother-in-law to tell me that his father (Henk) had just died. Henk was 94. My children and the whole family were in shock and deeply saddened. Henk’s health had been remarkable but recently his body could take no more.
I first met Henk, the father of my wife-to-be in 1988 and I then took part for the very first time in the family Whitsun Weekend, a reunion of more or less everyone on a farm in the east of this country. It was a glorious weekend where I became amazed by the warmth and welcome of everyone, as well as joining them in a very beery weekend. There would be many more such weekends, many birthday parties or dinners where I cooked and each time the warmth was there in its so many forms. His three children worshipped him, not hard to understand why, as did all the other family members. He was a rock who brought peace and safety to everyone, in his own quiet way and always with humour. In the war he had been in a camp in the Far East – in itself a traumatic experience where Henk learned so much about people. To and for everyone, Henk was forever taking the time to listen and to help in what way he could.
It would take a book to tell you everything about this man. Let me just give one anecdote instead. It may have been the first or second Whitsun Weekend on the farm just outside Almelo and Henk was relaxing in the sun after lunch. His granddaughter (Frederiek) was then 4 I think and wanted so much to look at the horse in one of the paddocks. So every ten minutes she would come to Henk and ask him to walk her to the paddock to see the horse. It took maybe five minutes and they were back again. Then the repeat and so on until I wondered how long before Henk refused. He did not. Each time, and with a soft smile, he took Frederiek to see the horse. That was Henk.
At his cremation last Sunday, his family captured in their own words how he had touched them. There were many photographs and at the end a video taken some time back where Henk said “goodbye” in just a few seconds. Beautiful.
Thank you Henk for everything you were and will remain
dickwife 